I have this argument with my wife often. I like to cook, and for me cooking is more than taking frozen meatballs and dumping them into a pan full of jar pasta sauce. I would rather make the sauce, maybe have some meatballs made in advance. My wife seems to think that pre-made stuff or mixes are the way to go. I would rather just make pancakes scratch, which isn’t hard, where she would rather I just open the mix, add water, and make the food. But I do agree that having a frozen lasagna is better than taking the full effort when I just want to get dinner going. So where are your eat the pre-made vs make it from scratch?
You enjoy cooking, she doesn’t. You can cook from scratch, she can heat up the frozen stuff. I don’t see why this is cause for an argument.
Yeah, I personally despise cooking. I’ll do anything to get my meal the quickest and with the least amount of effort and mess possible. I don’t see the big deal. If people want to cook from scratch, go ahead. I’m just not going to be the one to do it. Why does it matter if one person prefers to cook one way and one person prefers the other?
Edit: If it’s specifically pancake mix that OP’s wife prefers, maybe there is something about the flavor that she likes better with it. My brother also weirdly prefers instant mashed potatoes over homemade…even if he is not the person making them. With certain things, some people just have a preference it seems.
In this same vein, I’ve never had a from-scratch brownie that I like better than the box brownies.
She will insist on the mixes.
As in when you cook she wants you to use the premade stuff? Why?
Nostalgia for what her mother used to make.
Yo man, that’s a legit resson for her to prefer one type of cooking over another
NGL man, you’re coming across as Defensive Internet Man on this. You two “argue frequently” about this, she “seems to think” mixes are the way to go when it sounds like it’s really only pancake mix that’s hanging you up and you know perfectly well why she likes pancake mix over scratch. She “tried to pull” nostalgia on you as if missing her deceased mother is a trick she’s playing on you.
Amateur advice from someone with no special related experience: any time someone says they like a Thing because it reminds them of Close Dead Relative, maybe just take their word for it and let them be.
Edit: and apparently she’s doing the grocery shopping. I’m starting to wonder who plans the menu throughout the week and how these disagreements are playing out from the spouse’s perspective.
Would she be open to use the pre-made mixes as a base and then you improving on them? I love to cook from scratch with nothing but fresh vegetables and base ingredients; it really makes me happy and, if I do say so myself, I do a good job at it (it is indeed a time consuming experience). My mom cooked from scratch and the taste and process of pankakes starting from scratch is familiar and comforting.
I have also learned that there is a lot that I can do by using pre-made ingredients, and that sometimes it’s a huge advantage because I can then focus my cooking creativity on the parts that are less about ‘turning the ladle’ and more about personal time and experience. Some examples:
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Pasta sauce: Buy a decent tomato basil sauce. Then add caramelized onions (40 min), mushrooms, artichokes and spices. Now I can focus on what the sauce goes on top of.
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Pankakes: Some of the store bought pankake mix is pretty great, I especially love the Ube mix from Trader Joe’s. If you are not making your own mix, then you can really focus on creating some excellent and amazing hme make toppings. It’s a good excuse to perfect a recepie for marmalade or make a perfect mini fried chicken from scratch to go with that pankake.
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Mac’n’Cheese: It’s absolutely possible to make Mac’n’Cheese from scratch, but also delicious to start with a box, and then figure out how to max it Gormet in all different ways.
just some ideas.
For all these responses, it’s not just pasta sauce or pancake mixes. And yes, the she does let me doctor things up sometimes. It just gets irritating when I make a sauce, it’s delicious, and then she buys a jar version because “you like this kind of sauce”. I found a great soup recipe I want to try, ask for specific ingredients and she just buys the canned version of the soup. I’ve talked with her before about it when she brought home a cookie mix. I used to make homemade cookies when I was depressed, and it would cheer me up. She suggested I make the mix, all I had to do was add some eggs and water, and we can have the cookies. I had to tell her it wasn’t the cookies that made me feel better.
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If you have time, make food for the whole week and you eat “pre-made food” (point for your wife) made by you from scratch (point for yourself)😁
Some people don’t like leftovers, I can only figure their experience with leftovers has always been bad.
I love having leftovers around, but I make a pot of good stuff with plans for the leftovers. Some things are never leftovers because they don’t hold well (anything with leeks or tarragon for example).
Sometimes, leftovers don’t reheat the same way.
My experience with leftovers growing up was having to eating my mom’s terrible cooking again when it wasn’t even good fresh. As an adult I love them because I like my own cooking and it means I get to skip a few nights a week.
I have two suggestions: homemade pre-made, and why not both.
You can pre-make things like pancake mix, taco seasoning, pasta sauce seasoning, etc. write any instructions on the ziplock bag or container.
Instant items from a box or bag can usually be dressed up with fresh foods. If she’s cooking then offer to prep fresh items.
Also, respect that some people simple have no patience for cooking and don’t want to learn any. Communicate with each other to understand how to make it work.
My wife is definitely team ‘make it from scratch’.
She is also a very slow cook. We also have an infant that is currently taking up 110% of our time.
It’s hard for me to justify spending two hours a night preparing a lunch for the next day. She likes to sleep in, so I never get to eat it fresh… it’s always leftovers.
I don’t mind cooking something fresh for lunch or dinner, but I’ll do something that takes 20 minutes of prep and then take care of itself on the stove or in the oven. Chilli, pot roast, or a casserole.
I think frozen dinners probably have a better balance of protein/carbs/veg than either of us makes, and at half the price.
Personally, as with a lot of the comments, I’m in the food-prep and make it yourself crowd.
I found a book that dives into the details of when it is and isn’t worth making things from scratch.
It’s called Make the Bread, Buy the Butter.
Honestly, I haven’t read it yet. I bought it and let my mom borrow it immediately, but when I get it back I think it will an interesting read.
As someone who’s only read the title, I don’t think I’d like this book.
I’ve made bread before, a lot actually. Many kinds with different flours.
But I’ve used yeast for years because I couldn’t have added phosphorus due to kidney failure (which baking powder has in it). I’ve also had other less commonly used raising agents like cream of tartar and yogurt. I also made it by hand because could not afford a bread machine or had the space for it. It’s extremely messy.
That said, if you’re using baking powder and a bread machine, you might as well just get bread from the store. You’re just doing the same as a factory does really. And I’m some cases maybe worse since some factory bread is made with yeast instead anyway.
If you want fresh bread, you can in most cases just go to a bakery section too these days, from what I remember when I lived in the USA. In EU basically every store has a bakery section with bread made daily tho.
This sounds like it has much less to do with food and much more to do with OP’s relationship
Apparently, OP’s wife prefers the taste of the pre-made stuff, because it reminds her of her mother’s cooking. But yeah, kind of a weird info to omit…
You are two separate people, so you can do two separate things.
Yay freedom.
I don’t know if it’s just where I am in life but I… I just can’t be fucked to do stuff man, I’m too ADHD, depressed, autistic, busy, stressed, whatever I don’t know.
I buy canned tomato sauce from Sam’s Club and meatballs. It’s actually reasonably good sauce, they usually have some decent pasta on offer of some variety. That’s about as much as you can really ask of me at this point in my life.
I also have ADHD and I use it to process a gigantic batch that will last me months. Like making a gallon’s worth of pasta sauce.
Pro tip, make the premade stuff. Make like a gallon of pasta sauce and freeze/can it all. Make like 5 pounds of meatballs and freeze them.
I like to make my pasta sauce when I can, from tomatoes. If you are a fast chopper, it goes by really quickly. Super thin slice it, add some diced enough, maybe some shredded carrot and celery, add some crushed garlic, salt, pepper and some seasonings. In around an hour or so you will have made a bunch of it.
Also look for professional advice for canning, cause idk if my way is the safest. I boil some water in the can in the microwave, dump it then add the pasta sauce, and close it really tight with an oven mitt.
I also grind my own meat, with just a knife. Dice the meat into small cubes and mince it for a while. I do it until it can form a cohesive meatball. Also consider what you’ll use it for, if its just being tossed in a bolognese sauce, it doesn’t need to be so fine.
You can make pizzas ahead of time too, roll the dough, add marinara, mozzarella and wrap it in foil and put it in the freezer.
I make my own stock too. I’ll collect bones and veggie scraps in a freezer bag, and when it’s full, I dump it in a slow cooker, set it and forget it. The store bought stuff is basically just water. If it’s tasteless, it’s baseless.
I’ve also frozen lasagna portions too, fully cooked. If raw its impossible to cook them without completely de-thawing them.
I also have a box of instant cake batter I mixed together myself. It’s like a year old but it’s still not terrible!
This is easy. Whoever’s doing the cooking does it their own way. If you don’t like it, then you do the cooking so it can be done your way.
Having a frozen lasagne is better than taking the full effort when…
Last month i made two lasagnas in one day and had none of it. I cut them up in pieces and froze them into 24 pieces. Now we have home made lasagna for those days where we dont feel like cooking dinner. It really does not need to take too much time and if you enjoy it, there is no need to not do it.
Cooking your own meals with unprocessed ingredients is one of the basic parts of a healthy diet.
If you practice a bit cooking a home made meal can be done in less than 30 minutes. If times a issue I have some 20 minute recipes.
I make sure to have a basic stock of ingredients like pasta, flour, some vegetable stock cubes, some assorted spices, onions, fresh garlic,…
Your way is always going to be significantly healthier. Among other issues I think you’ll find eating food your wife prefers puts you both well over the recommended sodium intake for a day. This is likely to shorten your life due to heart health.
The healthiest way to shop is to stick to the outside of the super market and skip the packaged foods in the middle.
Nostalgia or not, eating packaged food to often is very unhealthy. Maybe broach it with your wife and ask her if you can satiate her nostalgia in moderation. Having something she really loves out of a package only once or twice a week.
Your health says avoid pre-made mixes as much as possible. I’m no salt-phobe (insufficient salt is a greater concern for 99% of people than too much), but even I shy away from the insane amounts of salt/sodium in anything packaged. Some stuff has more sodium in it than anyone should have in a day.
Plus, pre-made mixes often aren’t anywhere near as good as making something yourself, and usually more expensive, even allowing for your own time.
There are exceptions of course, but I have spreadsheets to calculate costs of mixes, meals, you name it, and it’s rare when something is cheaper to buy pre-made.
Dishwasher detergent powder is the same cost as making myself. As is onion soup mix, gravy mix powder, etc. Most other mixes I make as I go along - making chili uses a mix of different spices which I keep on hand. And I have 3 different chili recipes that use different spice mixes, and the end result is very different. I have a few recipes like this (creole/Cajun for example), that technically use the same spices, but not the same mix, and are very different for it.
I don’t understand people like your wife (or one of my siblings) that seem to view eating as just something necessary, (bless their hearts 😁, as my southern family would say)…good food is crucial to me, it’s not just something I do to get by. I mean it’s something we have to do a few times every day of our lives. I want that experience to be as good as I can as often as I can.
Speaking of creole, I started making a roux for gumbo yesterday and burned it after prepping the veggies and meat. We are pizza last night. But today I’m doing the slow 4 hours in the oven roux so I don’t mess it up again.
Sometimes I don’t have the motivation to cook, sometimes I do. Sometimes I have the motivation to get shit done that isn’t in the kitchen. Throwing a pizza in the oven can buy me an extra hour of working on something else because I don’t have to come in early to wash up, prep, cook, then wash the damn dishes.
Have both options available.
