The smell of blood in the night, the sound of squelching coming from the basement door that I know I boarded up, and the sight of my late wife holding what was once our son.
2 dudes showing PDA. Really any PDA makes me cringe but 2 dudes has always grossed me out too much to not turn away. Have gay friends, best friend has a gay dad, Im eskimo brothers with a former chick who was a dude waiting to have the surgery to be a dude before any gender related shit was making headlines, I also worked for years as both a chef and a male nurse that gave me a higher than average exposure to gay coworker dudes compared to other industries I’ve worked in. I love them all and love(ed) hanging out with any one of them but when it comes to actually seeing the gay shit, I can’t do it. I gotta turn away or see what’s going on in other rooms. Seeing a dude and a chick or 2 chick’s is more roll the eyes kind of cringe but the 2 dudes is more of a physically grossed out feeling. If that’s homophobic then fuck it I guess I’m homophobic.
This was refreshingly really candid
I don’t feel this way about dudes kissing or PDA, but if I accidentally click the wrong link or scroll past a thumbnail with some explicit gay porn, I feel the exact same visceral disgust.
That’s how I OG confirmed I’m not gay back in the day. Trying to watch gay porn and having my dick shrivel like a frightened turtle; wanting nothing to do with it.
It’s very interesting that despite all of your exposure to gay people that you have this sort of reaction. Why do you think you have this sort of a reaction with two men but not with a man and a woman? Do you think you have any sort of idea?
No different than seeing two fat ugly people showing PDA. Some things I find beautiful. Some things i find infuriating. Some things I find yummy. Some things I find funny. Some things I find gross. There will have to be an avalanche of shit falling off my priority ladder before I make room to spend time figuring out why I find something gross.
If you’re interested to work on this within yourself, of course getting professional help with a therapist would be best but you could also try some simple exposure therapy on your own. Maybe watch some shows and movies featuring normalized gay relationships. Use that to slow-drip the normality of gay PDA’s existence into your experience.
Here’s a Rotten Tomatoes list you could browse to get started. I think you might want to look for stuff where you can follow and enjoy the plot as well as see gay characters showing PDA. You can try doing this at your own pace to work on slowly desensitizing whatever cringey bit in your mind is having these homophobic reactions and messing with your ability to deal with public reality.
If you are interested in this idea I’d suggest sticking with mainstream films and avoiding porn. Even though it’s really available and even if porn in general is your thing, porn generally isn’t the best way to constructively work on your own sexual education. I think since it’s PDA you’re dealing with you’d be much better off with stuff that can teach your brain about the human side of PDA in our society, portrayed outside of the performative sex acts found in porn.
The energy in a room full of people.
It depends on the people though, but mostly, nah.
I really don’t like crowds and avoid them as much as I can.
But I really love concerts. When the energy of everyone around you just kinda syncs with the music, it’s one of the best feelings.
Exactly what i meant. There are concerts that i’ll never forget.
Being forced to stop doing a thing I’m in the middle of.
Health insurance company stocks.
Wet chewing sounds
My own answer is what got me thinking of the question.
People cheering for, happily celebrating or laughing at death or people dying.
At least to me, death is dark, serious, grim and horrible on a very fundamental level. Even if it is deserved or necessary it just isn’t something to be elated about. Human beings dying don’t combine with happy feelings.
I find it literally sickening. Usually it’s been in the context of people behaving horribly (for instance suicide encouragement, terrorism etc.) but todays lemmy feed also brought it out, and really made me think about why it made me feel that way.
The first season of The Office (US version).
Intrusive thoughts. Ugh I get a lot of them especially about sexual things between friends or something and it’s just the worst. I have to close my eyes hard and use all my tricks to try to get it to stop.
Mine tell me to kill myself or tell people who don’t respect it my opinion on something or sometimes strangle them if they’re particularly offensive. Honestly I still think I prefer mine.
The realization that most of my family, given the rise of fascism, would be fascist enablers. Same with like 90% of the people at work.
Capitalism
Someone telling me about their dream in a great detail.
Certain people trying to seem cool, me giving presentations, (now come some arguably physical more things) loud noises, irritating noises, the sound of velcro, velcro stuck to something it shouldn’t be, getting a fingernail stuck on cloth (especially wool blankets), the way people mash buttons on their phones/computers instead of reading the error code/pop up
I can probably think of more
Dishonor.
