ACAB is cops as a collective. Like, your friend may be a great person when not at work. And may even be ‘one of the good ones’ when on the clock.

That doesn’t mean he’s going to testify against a fellow officer that he sees planting drugs on a suspect.

Up to you if that’s someone you want to hang around with. But I will say there’s a lot of other moral grey areas when it comes to professions in our culture.

I have people in my friends group that are landlords. I don’t make it a point to hang out with them, but I don’t shun them either.

Develop a more complex and articulated theory of the problems with American policing than “ACAB”. That’s a four word model of reality.

Shit’s complex.

I believe ACAB, and my cousin is actively trying to become a state trooper.

Doesn’t mean I walk up and spit in his face at every family gathering. We talk, we grew up together, we shoot the shit and have a good time.

But if he asked me to condone or celebrate his job? Nah, he knows how I feel about the police and their profession, as long as he’s safe and not drinking the Kool aid (he will) that’s all I can hope. And that maybe he’ll open his eyes someday. 🤷‍♀️

As a hard rule, though, I won’t date cops or mess around with them. One reached out on a dating app recently and I just politely responded with “I’m not interested in law enforcement, sorry” to which I got “Uh, I’m actually a correctional officer.”

Cool, so you abuse people after the police have finished abusing them, that’s not the brag you think it is.

I genuinely believe ACAB, and this news has me conflicted because my new friend seems really cool and super nice.

What you’re experiencing is cognitive dissonance. New information is clashing with your prior beliefs, leaving you with a choice: either update your beliefs or double down and lie to yourself even harder.

Perhaps you should get to know your friend better, instead of stereotyping him. You can either learn a little about the nuances of a law enforcement career from him, or shun him and put your head back in the sand

Idk add some nuance into your life maybe

First of all, I find your phrasing that he “is/was” a cop kind of interesting. Is he a cop or is he not? If he was but is no longer a cop, it could very well be that he left that career because he shares some of your same thoughts and feelings and you’re getting yourself worked up over nothing.

Anyway

To me, ACAB means that all cops are bastards collectively

It does not mean that each individual cop is a bastard.

There are undoubtedly some cops that are good people, doing their damnedest to do the right thing, standing up for the little guy against the bastards, who are trying to make the system better from the inside, who understand the role that policing should be, etc.

And there are of course some who are bastards, who abuse their power and do all of the things that make policing shitty.

And there are cops who aren’t actively bastards themselves, but also aren’t doing anything to make waves and stand up against the bastards.

It’s a case of a few rotten apples spoiling the bunch. The apple barrel has a couple absolutely amazing apples in there that are everything you could ever want from an apple, a whole bunch of meh run-of-the-mill grocery store apples, that do the job of being an apple well enough, but aren’t going to make you stand up and say “holy shit, that’s a good fucking apple,” and then there’s a handful of rotten apples that will make you puke your guts up, and unfortunately you don’t get to pick and choose which apple you’re eating, you just have to reach in blind and take a bite, and since those rotten apples are in there, it’s a pretty big gamble to make, you have to really need that apple for it to be worth it.

However, entering into a friendship is different than other interactions you’d have with the police. You get a chance to inspect the apple before you eat it, to see if it’s good, ok, or rotten to the core.

I’d say don’t dismiss him outright because he’s a cop, but try to feel him out, see what his attitude and philosophy is like, don’t grill him on it, but take note of how he reacts when different subjects are brought up, and if you find something problematic with what he says, try to explain how your views are different in a non-confrontational way, don’t make it a fight or an argument or a debate, just try to explain your thoughts and feelings and try to understand why he thinks the way he does as well. With the right people around him, it’s possible that you could help make him or keep him a good cop when otherwise he might go bad, it’s up to you if you want to take on that task.

Can you separate the profession from the person?

Does ACAB mean the people are bastards, or does it mean it’s a job that can never be done ethically?

Is ACAB a critique of the people doing the job, or is it a criticism of our society for tolerating being policed?

It sounds like you are the kind of person that can’t comprehend empathy and stepping into other persons shoes. If something doesn’t happen to you you’re sticking to pre canned ideas you heard repeated often enough.

What did you expect, that a cop would show up to a friendly meeting and bully everyone there? That’s not what makes ACAB. it’s the fact that s significant portion of them beat wifes, or use deadly force, or are unfair to minorities.

You’re already going into the mode " he treats me ok so he must be nice to everybody". Ask him if he’d turn a blind eye if a homeless person steals food from a big supermarket, and you’ll have a chance of glimpsing how he deals with problems and people on a non friendly, stressful, low stakes environment.

Its never the people, its a system. Currently we have a system that allows for unqualified and even violent people in the police force, with little accountability. There are still those who join in good faith to serve and protect their community. Unfortunately it seems like they are becoming a slimmer and slimmer minority, but they are still prominent.

I wouldn’t mindlessly hate your local police force until ypu have a reason to hate them. Police aren’t some hivemind. I live in a small town and the local police are super chill.

With things like cops, you have to remember that if no one with morals goes into it, it’ll keep getting worse.

I have a lot of family that are in some kind of law enforcement, and a couple friends from college that went into it as well.

If you cut them off because they’re cops, then the only people who associate with them are assholes and it concentrates.

Just be upfront about it.

Couple months ago I ran into a friend of a friend from college who’s a cop. The first and last things I said to him was dont be a fucking asshole. Other than that I treated him the same as if he wasn’t a cop.

If we cut that dude out of our lives, the only people he’d talk to would tell him to be more of an asshole.

Like, obviously if he’s doing shady shit, then fuck him.

All cops means ALL COPS. I’ve known friends & family who are great people. Loving fathers, caring husbands, cool dudes all around, but they were none the less cops. If you want to still be friends, great, unless you’re discussing potentially incriminating stuff, you’re probably fine (but even then there are damn good reasons lawyers tell people, innocent or not, to NEVER EVER TALK TO COPS EVER). This is the kinda thing where a relationship must nessisarily be different from the rest of the group, for the safety of yourselves & others. Don’t rat out your friend who’s got a hungry newborn & no money for babyfood, for instance. Maybe this difference is for the better, maybe for the worse, that’s yours to work out.

All Cops Are Bastards, not nessisarily because they, themselves, as individuals, are bastards. But because of the job itself. What it expects of these people, the mentalities/ideas/trained responses it instills in them, the training & culture, what is expected of them, their responsibilities & tasks, how they are conditioned to perform them, the laws they are paid to enforce & how they’re made to enforce them, etc. All of these make them a bastard same as any other cop because THE JOB ITSELF IS A BASTARD.

I won’t describe how, there’s plenty of info out there, & it sounds like you already have some understanding of it. Here’s a link or two anyway.

Bottom line, they can still be a friend. Definitely a different kind of friend than you might be used to, possibly not as close a friend as they might otherwise be, but still a friend. But until they get that pink slip, (i.e, get fired or quit) be careful. If not for yourself, than for the people around you who are vulnerable. People of color, women, homeless, mentally ill or different, queer, activist, even those they are closest to, all of the above & more qualify as such. The power he wields has been used constantly to frustrate the lives of the above since their badge was made of silver, & likely will be for some time to come.

All Cops Are Bastards, because the job itself is.

I genuinely believe ACAB,

Yeahhhh… No. That’s not true. Being a police officer doesn’t make someone a bad person. Good cops exist.

Yeah. Don’t be a prejudiced asshole and see your friend for who they are. Being a cop is something they do, not something they are. Don’t let hate infect you just because it’s on your own side of the line.

A longtime friend became a cop around 2018. I told him I believed he would be a fair officer and that if more cops were like him, I wouldn’t dislike cops. But after their behavior in 2020 all throughout the UsA, I consider being a cop to be immoral. We’re not friends anymore because I think any cop with a shred of decency should have resigned after seeing their colleagues nationwide abuse people.

I’d let the friendship go, but that’s just me.