Why isn’t this marked NSFW? It’s highly arousing.

If you enjoyed this post, you’ll love this:
https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

It was love at first sight—he was tall and broad-shouldered, with a dimpled smile, twinkling green eyes, and in keeping with his combination of statistically unlikely but deeply alluring features, type AB blood, and that condition where cilantro tastes like soap.

Tony Angel walked Fiona back to the car and handed her the leash, if only he hadn’t thrown the ball so hard; it had marred an otherwise perfect first date on the White Cliffs of Dover.

The villa in Tuscany is abandoned now, and nature, in the form of invasive vegetation, is reclaiming the small vineyard where Rodolfo and Susannah made love each afternoon, beginning with the creeping Coccinia virginiana, followed by the woody Polemonium gloriosa, and ending, of course, with the drooping Glandularia vulgaris.

As a Brit, the word fanny packs will always be hilarious.

Haha. Oh hey, that’s Zach from SMBC. No wonder it’s weird 😆

Get this man a Pulitzer

me : 1

this challenging fap : 0

I’ll be in my bunk.