Lately I have been trying to notice my doom scrolling actually using it as a cue to convert that energy into reading something I’m interested in.

I’m trying to quit scrolling like I quit smoking decades ago: with intentional anger for being controlled and then redirection.

I have, on a few occasions, rebooted my reading habit from traveling by airplane.

I have found that if I do everything I can to feel as good as possible before a flight, and bring a book in my carry on, it’s one of the rare situations that there is nothing pulling me away from reading. I went somewhere for work last month and I finished 2 books on that trip. That made me really happy and motivated to keep it alive.

Yeah, I think asymmetric warfare is they key word I was grasping for.

I guess I wonder what other games, besides geopolitical competitions (or conflicts specifically) represent similar asymmetry

https://youtu.be/Skawrfm0AIM?si=0IUWba-Vvkc2jheG

Seriously though this piqued a lot of interest for me. Thank you for this compact packet of fascinating info!

I’m glad to hear you’re turning that page, and I hope he chooses to as well. Congrats, and eventually congrats to him.

First I want to apologize somehow I didn’t register “ex”, and parts of my comment therefore made no sense.

Do you feel physically unsafe to confront him? If not, I think you’re within your right to flat out say “you don’t live here anymore and you need to pack now and then leave”.

He’s your ex. Nobody owes (or is owed) any interpersonal relationship from anyone else, nor any favors or support.

You already know all this though.

If you do feel threatened by him, I am always skeptical about involving police, but you have the best angle for that judgement call, maybe you should get on it. I hope there’s space for you to give him a chance not to need that though. Involving the police only due to being timid I think would be an irresponsible play.

Do you have a trusting relationship with any mutual friends that can help you mediate and navigate this?

No matter what you do, it’s going to have to happen, I don’t see any sense in waiting. You need to be able to take care of yourself and move your life forward. There are only so many years you’re alive… Don’t give him another 2.

You can’t help anyone else if you can’t take care of yourself first. That’s a really hard position to be in, but you have to do it for your benefit and eventually for his too.

In fact, if I found out my lady wanted me out but didn’t flip the switch, I would be pretty upset about the time we lost living in that state. That time could have been spent rediscovering myself or finding my next partner. What a missed opportunity!