After growing up with a bunch of retail workers and hearing all their horror stories, I generally try to avoid all the “classic” Christmas tunes as long as possible - the only ones I ever seek out are Christmas At Ground Zero by Weird Al Yankovic, and Straight No Chaser’s album from 2009.

Straight No Chaser - Who Spiked The Egg Nog?

Braking doesn’t even have to factor into it, I can’t stand the feeling of going on and off the throttle. Cruise control exists for a reason, people.

An avocado! Thanks…

Eight months.

The day after my 21st birthday, late September, I’d left home to go to trucking school. Went through a trucking company’s in-house “apprenticeship” program, which was somewhat predatory in hindsight.

Anyway, I went through this program, managed to get my CDL, which took several months by itself (through no fault of my own - the program was designed to take that long), and when I finally got a truck to myself, it only took me about five weeks to grow tired of the sudden isolation. I was finally allowed to go home around Easter.

After my three allocated days of hometime, I decided to quit that company, and I found a better job closer to home.