God Thinks by Aurelio Voltaire

"God is a liberal, God is a democrat

God wants you to vote Republican

Never trust a man who puts his words in the mouth of God

And says it’s absolute truth

It’s lies and it smells like death

It’s all in a days work taking money from the poor

Why do you think that God

Would need your dirty money if you want to start a holy war?"

I wish

I worked gate security at a baseball stadium. Right next to where I stood there were two huge signs reading “No Smoking” and “No Re-entry”. Guess what questions I got asked all day.

Bold move wearing a red shirt while fighting cancer.

One of my favorite examples of the difficulty in idiot-proofing things comes from a national park ranger talking about the difficulty of designing a bear-proof garbage can. He said “There is considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest humans.”