I don’t feel that our society is atomized or individualistic, but that’s going to depend on what kind of life you live. Standard advice is to join clubs or volunteer, and after a month or 6 months at any given place, sit down and think about whether it’s helping you achieve the social goals that you want to achieve. If it’s not, walk away.

I decided to volunteer at the local railway museum, which then introduced me to the local model railway group, and now I am part of both and meeting many more people aswell. Both for getting out of the house, and meeting new people, it has been awesome not to mention the fun.

Find an activity you would like to do, preferably with people involved, and put yourself out there. Join a club that pertains to an interest. All good ways definitely.

I haven’t figured this out entirely, but I’ve found a partial solution in being part of a men’s group.

We meet weekly to discuss our feelings.

After a couple years in that group, one of the other guys requested that someone call him a few times per week because he needed an impetus to keep moving. He was battling depression and laziness, and wanted someone to check in on him.

I volunteered to call him three times a week. It was only going to be a few weeks at first, but we kept it up.

Now it’s been about six months of me calling him on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday morning. I told him I’d be happy to call him like this for the next fifty years if that’s what it takes.

I live alone, and don’t really see anyone on a regular basis except for this group. I don’t know my neighbors, nor anyone in my neighborhood. I’ve considered joining a church to have some community, but I don’t want to distort my relationship with God.

But this morning I spoke with that guy. He’s not physically present, but our ongoing commitment to this phone call schedule creates an abstract “meeting place” where we encounter each other regularly.

It really works. It’s like sharing a kitchen with someone, and bumping into them there on a recurring basis.

I think it would be great if more people made arrangements like that. I think it would be great if there were a community here on Lemmy just for the purpose of setting such arrangements up.

Regular, recurring connection is magic.

In college I had a classmate that I enjoyed speaking with. Somehow we decided that we were going to have breakfast every Saturday morning at Le Peep, just the two of us.

We did that for an entire year of college, and it formed a deep bond. We became best friends, as a result of seeing each other regularly.

I myself don’t have the bandwidth to take on a lot of such connections, but if anyone is interested in trying such an arrangement please respond to this comment and y’all can pair off.

The arrangement I would propose is this:

• Set up a recurring schedule. Same time on the same day every week
• One of you calls the other
• Have some specific questions planned, in order to kick start the conversation. With this guy from my men’s group, I started off by asking him three questions: “How are you feeling right now? How did yesterday go in terms of your plans and objectives? What are your plans/objectives for today?” This was to help him keep moving in the depression/laziness he was experiencing. Now after months we’ve abandoned the formulaic structure and we just talk
• Treat it as important. Stick to the commitment and make the calls. Lots of people don’t stick to their commitments, and that sucks. Commitment creates consistency, and consistency is the heart of community.

If anyone would like to experiment with this, I can call you regularly for a short period of time to teach you how it’s done. I can’t afford a lot of long-term commitments right now, but I’d be happy to put in some effort to help people understand the technique.

Local ttrpg store

For me, it was a writing group. The guy that leads it just threw a holiday party for us, and I love those, because the group is a wide range of ages, from all walks of life, and they’re all smart and interesting, and we all love stories. It makes for great in-depth conversations

Here’s some really good advice about finding community.

Meet up has a lot of groups with a variety of activities. You can find hiking, biking, swimming, reading, knitting, quilting, art of various forms, board game, DND, video game, canoeing, kayaking, trivia night, yoga, meditation, foodie, singles, couples, and ither groups to be part of.

Pretending you enjoy normie stuff like star wars or Axe throwing.

In the meantime !dull_mens_club@lemmy.world

Political activism for me personally

Lemmy, but you never leave the house, society, but you never spend time at home.

I found one in community dance, specifically local folk dance. The median age is probably 65, so it’s adaptable to a wide range of athleticism levels, but it does require significant mobility.

I absolutely loved it until covid, and then I moved, but it was a wonderful group of people through whom I met dear friends, found a job offer, learned a bunch of things, and found a home.

Do mutual aid

I once went to a woodworking store to get supplies for one of my brief ADHD hobbies, and the guy there mentioned that they have classes and there were some carvings on display that people made. It sounded like a nice, small group of people and if I wasn’t so lazy and socially anxious I might’ve enjoyed joining.

Not sure if you mean without alcohol as in without you yourself needing to drink, or if you mean where do you find an entire community who doesn’t drink.

If you’re looking for athiest teetotallers, you’re already cutting out more than three quarters of people you’ll ever meet, so no wonder you may be finding it hard.

If you’re anywhere slightly populated, check out local festivals and street markets that get stood up on a regular schedule. Where I am there’s usually a weekly farmer’s market in a few cities nearby. If you want to volunteer to set-up or work at one they always have the most friendly, community-based people. You’ll have to not be anti-social for long enough to make friends with people, but normally it will be the same group who goes to every street festival and market, and you’ll recognize all the vendors and workers (who are chill people).