Proper uncensored version thanks to @baatliwala@lemmy.world
Couldn’t find a wild uncensored version, so here’s an edited version. #FuckCensorship
Wow way to suck Google images
Circle to search is surprisingly good
I hold a duck once, didn’t know it was that widespread.
If you post censored shit I’m going to PM you shittingdicknipples and lemonparty.
/shakes tiny fist wistfully
Mine has also been up to the wrist in vagina, with moderate colon (limited to the digits). I let people know this before they shake my hand, in the spirit of transparency.
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
You’ll touch my dick and you’ll like it goddammit
Counterpoint: a greater number have touched a vagina (but that framing doesn’t obsess over a woman’s sexual purity, so, clearly less important)
Everyone has touched a vagina. You at least passed one on the way out.
Not people who were born via Caesarean.
Some have even tested the depths of a twat or two
It has to vary from person to person but I’ve never seen a sexual guide that discusses how deep in inches the canal is
Skin renews every vew days.
Mine has a dick in it pretty regularly. The point is still valid…
The fact you said “a dick” and not “my dick” 🤨
Sometimes it’s more than one. 🫢
thats why i dont shake hands anymore.
This is why I force everyone to let me shake their hand
Me too. When in a social situation where it unavoidable I do it but then always wonder how many dicks has this hand handled
While I was shaking it.
Thank god
“Almost” is a bit optimistic. Are femcels getting office jobs these days?
Never thought about it but obviously everyman has had a dick in his hand for obvious reasons. And all females old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand. This is now stuck in my head. The next time I shake the hand of a woman I am going to wonder how many dicks she has had in that hand.
Bruh forgot about trans people, lesbians, and asexuals
show me where it says lesbians can’t love cock
Kind of irrelevant, because there’s lots of lesbians who have never touched a dick.
No protests from me, just stating facts that there are plenty of people who don’t as well
I mean dildos are shaped like dicks generally so they probably have nothing against Dick, just the useless shit attached to it
What if I told you that neither dicks nor dick-shaped objects are necessary for great sex?
Gonna has to go piece by piece through this:
obviously everyman has had a dick in his hand for obvious reasons.
This line is trans-exclusive, which would probably be given a pass by all but the most ardent trans-inclusive commenters, but still not great.
And all females
Dude. There are some times when an argument is made that saying “females” is not inherently objectifying, especially in a scientific, military, or other setting where people are categorized that way, with the significant difference being consistency (e.g. man/woman, male/female, etc). Using one then the other strips all that away and makes it seem like referring to women as “females” is just your normal tendency, which strongly suggests the objectifying behavior.
And all females old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand.
This is just obviously wrong, as plenty of lesbians, asexual people, or those with lack of access to sexual connections with others have not had a dick in their hands, and that is not an insignificant percentage of women, I’d imagine.
The next time I shake the hand of a woman I am going to wonder how many dicks she has had in that hand.
As if to underline the “females” comment, it’s pretty telling that you feel it worth mentioning that you’re going to wonder how many dicks were in the hands of women, but not men (especially funny since any man you meet has most likely had a dick in his hand more recently than a woman).
Sometimes it is difficult to notice your own biases, so I hope this makes you think about what leads you toward thinking like this, and just general self-reflection.
Men/Women Male/Female
Those are the pairings you wanted. But, for fun, try swapping them next time and see what kind of attitude folks get.
Male/Women
Do it. Rustle some jimmies.
There are so many issues with this comment. Judgy and naïve in the best interpretation.
LOL. The politically correct police are on your ass tonight!
I cannot believe the seriousness of these replies. What is it the kids say? “Touch grass”?
Pretty sure it’s “eat ass”.
It is amazing how so many people cannot simply joke around. Politics so consume their lives every single thing in life is viewed only in that context. And not only cannot they not simply joke around they are on a mission to impose their views on anyone who disagrees with them. What a sad way to go through life. Social media in general is all a joke. And this group specifically is all about just getting a laugh.
