Appropriate time for: “If you see a shoplifter, no you didn’t.”
I would never tell, but I wonder if people, employees, take the charge instead of the big corpo.
No, it’s just budgeted into the prices.
Appropriate time for: shoplifting will fuck hundreds of innocent workers out of a job before it kills one corporation.
Think about who you’re really hurting. If a Walmart location stops being profitable enough, it’ll just close, no sweat off their back. But everyone working there is now out of a job.
Friendly reminder that if you saw someone stealing food, no you didn’t.
Best case they’re going to eat it.
Worst case you can buy warm coat meat off them later in a flat roof pub so they can buy heroin.
People need heroin too.
Plus you never notice people shoplifting. We dont know people’s situation but we dam well know corperations can fuck off.
The last few times I shoplifted it was by accident. The last being that I had to get a new ID from the DMV, they gave me a paper copy, and said they would mail me a normal ID. 30 days later it has still not arrived and grocery stores started to say they don’t accept the paper copy after 30 days. Went back to the DMV and they said it would take up to 90 days. I asked if I could get a picture ID until it arrives, to which they told me that would downgrade my license and therefore I wouldn’t be able to legally drive then.
Anyways, I wound up checking out at Kroger, putting items on the conveyor, and they asked for my ID, I gave them my paper copy and they called a manager and blah blah blah all because there was wine in the order. The manager told the cashier it was acceptable so long as it was within 30 days, thankfully neither of them knew the date as it was 34 days after the issue date, they accepted it and I put the bags in my cart and went on my way. When I got to the car I realized several items in my cart were not in grocery bags, I never took them out of the cart when I got distracted by the ID bologna. So none of those items got paid for.
My favorite part about it is someone has to acknowledge that someone was of age 4 days prior to purchase alcohol… So what black magic would I be performing to go from 35 4 days ago to under 21 then. If it could have been forged now, I could have forged it then.
Note the DMV stated if they printed a new copy it would change the issue dates and therefore start the 90 day wait over again. Fucking mess
Is this the California DMV? They are so ridiculously worthless. The DMV sloths in Zootopia were spot on, except they didn’t depict the intentional malice.
Nah, this one is Tennessee
The only shoplifting I see is the shops that keep arbitrarily lifting their prices.
The only shoplifting I see is the shops lifting their prices.
more laconic, more punny
EDIT :
The only shoplifting I see is the shops lifting their prices arbitrarily
variant keeping arbitrarily
The BBC editorial team showing a woman stealing a bottle of wine, rather than, like, food or something
I ain’t seen shit!
We’re combing the desert.
It’s okay everyone, I speak jive. They said “by golly, I haven’t seen anything”.
Notice they used an image of wine, not a more basic foodstuff. That’s called Manufacturing Consent.
Why are the pyramids in Egypt?
Because they’re too large to fit in the British Museum.
I never saw nuffin narc
Snitches get stitches. Don’t rat people out.
You must be over 1000000 years old to see that happen
Nah, just your humble reincarnated Babylonian horror
Honestly that whole joke is getting a bit overused now.
They haven’t made up enough for their bs
