I think must of us are missing the fact that the second to last panel his ‘smile’ is a grimace because he has severed the afflicted hand.
I’ll let you discuss what is meant by this.
I actually never interpreted it that way - I though it was just showing it getting worse - but that’s a good point and you may be right. It could be showing that he “fixed” the problem by pretending it doesn’t exist as much as he can around others, since none of them take it seriously anyway. Of course, that won’t help anything and will likely make it worse.
Goddamn, way to make me flashback.
There was a point in my life where I was facing homelessness, was constantly job searching but hearing nothing back, and had to count coins to make sure I could afford to eat each day. Not only that, but the closest family member, who had invited me to stay with them if things went tits up, had just died two days before in a sudden and tragic way.
And my then-bf dragged me to a bar, where he and all his friends told me to “just let it go” and “loosen up” as if the basement rock of my world hadn’t just eroded out from under me. I sure as shit couldn’t afford bar prices, and not a single one of the group offered to get me anything, leaving me stone sober while they all got shitfaced. I ended up crying alone in the bathroom for an hour, and when I came back out, “bf” was getting a fucking lap dance from his friend’s fiancee.
That wasn’t even the worst part of the night. It definitely got darker before the light returned.
I’m okay now, over a decade later, in an infinitely-better place with supportive friends and partners. But man, what a journey.
Dude should maybe consider seeing a doctor about his “hand”.
This is about others not taking depression seriously. The difficulty in getting treatment is another matter.
The others would probably take his problem a lot more seriously if he had at least tried to get it fixed. If you are going to walk around with a mangled blood gushing hand for a prolonged period of time, without seeking help, then you should probably stop whining about it, because I can’t do anything for you. I can’t force you to go to a doctor.
A lot of these comments are really proving the point of the comic. Nowhere does it say that anybody took his ailment seriously, yet it’s the victim who’s at fault.
The victim isn’t at fault for being depressed, or having a mangled hand, or whatever analogy we want to use. However, if they go out with friends and expect them to take the problem more seriously than they, themselves, are taking it, then they have some measure of fault for imposing their problem on the friend. If they are seeking treatment that just isn’t working, or they are unable to get proper treatment for other reasons, that’s a different story and I’ll have a lot more sympathy.
It all boils down to not expecting someone to take your problem seriously for long if you are not taking it seriously yourself.
“You don’t take your depression seriously enough for me” helps me to understand where some people who don’t understand (or don’t care to understand) depression at all are coming from.
Maybe the real lesson is that a mangled hand actively gushing blood isn’t really a great analogy for depression.
It’s a very imperfect one, yes. But the comic is trusting that the reader will understand the metaphor. A big ask for some, it seems.
If you are going to walk around with a mangled blood gushing hand for a prolonged period of time, without seeking help
Some wounds don’t heal.
If the comic suggested that he sought help in the past and it wasn’t working, it would be a much better analogy. Unfortunately, we only know what’s actually shown.
I was sad once and then I realized that I can control my emotions and decided not to be sad.
Any time I’m having strong feelings, simply turn off my emotions and become an automaton that exists to serve others.
My bosses love it. I’m going straight to the top. And once I’m finally in charge, I’ll be free to dump all my emotional baggage on my underlings while insisting they need to toughen up.
Glad that worked for you…now try living a few billion other people’s lives and tell me it works.
That’s impossible, I can only experience me
That’s great that you didn’t have chronic depression! Millions of others do.
“I can’t, because of my hand. My hand hurts so much. Life sucks because of this hand.”
“You should go to a doctor to show your hand”
“No! It won’t help anything! And it costs money. And I don’t know how to or want to anyway.”
I’ve seen that too, where the person doesn’t want to actually even try to help themselves.
Which of course is a symptom.
“My leg is broken” “Then walk to the hospital, duh” “I can’t, my leg is broken” “Why are you choosing to live in pain?!”
Then you carry them to the hospital and they don’t want to get treatment but they sure as hell want you to keep carrying them around. Been in that situation and it really sucks.
“Well you could call a taxi”
“I don’t know how to besides it costs money and time…”
“Well fine, I could drive you”
“No I got other stuff to do.”
“Just give me a time and I’ll do it”
“I don’t know when ugh…”
At that point people will just stop trying since it’s always the same wall.
But they saw it was a serious matter and tried. The people in the comic haven’t even reached that point yet.
It could’ve happened before this
Their comments don’t make it seem so. Nobody says they’ve tried to help him, only that he should get over it.
In the real life discussions I never have or heard about the prior times as trying to give advice either
A therapists saying about behaviors like this is “then the suffering isn’t big enough yet.”
Notice how the “friends” are completely dismissive of the hand? If they actually thought it was cause for concern, that would be an improvement.
We don’t know how long this has been going on. If it’s been years and years of this, I get it.
If encouraging him to see a doctor were something they were doing, the comic would have shown that.
what is this, the hand again
They do seem to have been through this before.
And it’s heavily implied it was brushed off before as well. No “I’ve tried to help you,” but rather “It’s not a big deal, get over it.”
Well obviously the comic has that as the point, even though very similar situations have people who have tried to help but have been brushed off
Sure, but that’s not this situation. First they have to actually care to get to that point.
And ADHD just means “you’re too lazy, and just need to focus.”
Things that make me want to hurt people.
It really sucks being a parent with ADHD having a kid with ADHD understanding the struggles while also having to say “You need to figure out what will work for you to focus on this stuff. Also, just try some of these suggestions to see if they work instead of refusing to try at all.”
Like I understand the struggle and still end up sounding like that just because figuring out something to improve the situation is necessary although it isn’t quite the same thing as ‘try harder’. Just keep trying until you figure out something that improves the situation.
For me, it’s all about someone trying to help me, together.
I’m lucky that a few of my coworkers understand the feeling that working on a thing together (even if it’s separate tasks) can achieve the larger goal. It’s much better than going alone, or with someone who tries to play director/boss.
Feel this one in my bones.
The worst part is when people call somebody lazy or make other assumptions about them cause of their lack of wealth or expensive things or tidy hair. Some people never grow out of that schoolyard shit.
With friends like these, you don’t need enemies
I have ADHD and my SO desperately needs to see this.
The fun thing about depression is that the others are technically right. It’s all in your head. And it’s easy to fix if you wanted.
But you won’t. Because you think you deserve it.
It is all in your head, but it’s not at all easy to fix. The brain’s perception of reality is all we have, and when that perception is skewed it can be very hard to find something to help un-skew it.
That’s what he is saying in a bad way. The people in the comic are technically right, but since you think you deserve the punishment, you are stuck. If you manage to get away from that negative thinking, you’ve done the biggest part of getting out of depression, and from there it is easier to do the rest without the destructive self esteem.
He should’ve used more words.
The people are not right because they don’t see the “hand” as a serious problem worthy of attention.
That’s what he is saying in a bad way.
Just because half the people here don’t understand it doesn’t mean irony’s bad.
Others should have used more brain.
The irony if being stuck because of yourself isn’t bad, he just worded it badly.
It’s easy to interpret his message as negative because of depression, which is doubly ironic given the context of this conversation.
He?! I’m not going to be taking lessons in working from someone who doesn’t know who he’s talking about.
Didn’t notice you were op, my bad. Also I’m not trying to teach you a lesson, I just tried to clarify your message for others.
Fixing the thought that you deserve it is the hard part. It’s a self-reinforcing worldview that colors everything that comes in. People can say exactly the right thing, but depression will twist the way that you perceive their words.
I never wish bad for someone. However, I would wish for you, that you experience for some time, what a depression feels like.
You then would never write stuff like this.
That was written from experience you asshole. Fuck off.
Glad you are doing better then!
